After my wife passed away last year, I fell apart and was mired in the attachment to sentiment. I felt lonely and empty.
I did not continue to improve my temper and practiced cultivation by Falun Dafa which I had done before since 1994.
I coincidentally met someone through WeChat. She suggested that I invest in the spot market. Although I did not really know what this was all about and I understood this kind of earning money was not a cultivator should do. We were told by the Fa that we should not be greedy and yearned for more money.
Then, another person showed me the profits she had made from it.
Finally, I wavered and thought, “It’s an investment, not speculating in the stock market. It does not violate the Fa principles. Besides, it is an easy way to make money.”
I invested 50,000 yuan and made 20,000 yuan on that investment. I put in an additional 100,000 yuan, but my beginner’s luck had deserted me, and I kept losing money until I lost all of it.
Investment Fever Brought Ruin
It appeared that I had gotten past this gambling stage and found my attachments to comfort and greed. But that was the end of my looking within and addressing the problem.
Although I had stopped playing the stock market, I cultivated on and off.
One day, I talked to someone who claimed to be the investment manager in her company. I told her about my losses in the spot market, and she sweetly talked me into making investments through her company.
First, I started with a small investment, but the investment fever got hold of me and I invested close to a million yuan. After doing great initially, my luck changed and I eventually lost most of my money.
Instead of returning to cultivation, I stopped studying the Fa and doing the exercises. My mind was filled with thoughts of making money through investments, and I turned into an ordinary, greedy and weary person.
I read some other practitioners’ experience sharing articles on Minghui about the lessons they had learned from speculating in the stock market and other investments. My mind became clear. I realized I had made mistakes, yet I was of two minds and hoped that my luck would turn.
Now, I realize that I was stupid.
However, the gambling fever had me in its thrall. When the market was bad, I even sent forth righteous thoughts to eliminate interference.
I was trapped into the lust of fortune and terrible circumstance by myself. It was my greed that destroyed me and my destiny then.
The temptation was just too strong, although I knew in my heart that it was wrong. The interfering factors’ substance behind my mind kept telling me to recover my losses. The old forces of the universe called by the Fa, took advantage of my attachments with money and turned it into financial persecution, which made me lost more and more of money. The continuous temptation made me give up cultivation. I still shudder when I think of how I moved farther and farther away from the Fa.
Master’s words often flashed in my mind, but my strong attachment got the upper hand and pulled me deeper into a vortex of pursuing personal gain.
Given a Second Chance
With fellow practitioners’ help, I finally woke up and let go of my attachments. It was as if a huge rock had been lifted off me.
I regretted I should not have made this mistake, which left a stain on my cultivation. Driven by attachments to fame, fortune, comfort, lust, and others, I wanted ordinary folks to see how capable I was and how I could prepare for my retirement.
I no longer speculate though, unsavory thoughts that tell me to recover my losses sometimes show up in my mind.
The only way to step out of this desire, I need to make priority in cultivating myself, eliminate the bad thoughts, strengthen my faith, and practice the Fa.
It was the way that could bring me back from my hopeless situation, keep my stay away from the evil’s temptation that I had made myself trapped into. And I would never again step away from my beautiful cultivation path.
By a Falun Dafa Practitioner