When two people decide to become parents, it is often with the expectation of spending a lifetime together—with all their hopes and dreams invested. So, when mother Candice Curry met her daughter’s new stepmom, she had to dig a little deeper, letting go of her own hopes and dreams, for the sake of her little girl’s new life.
Curry wrote an open letter, which she published on her personal blog, directed exclusively at her ex-husband’s new wife, Ashley.
It starts out reminding the other woman something all might expect—that Candice, like many ex-spouses everywhere, never wanted this new person to be there.
She had planned out her life with her family, she wrote, and having someone else share her parenting duties as a mom had never been a part of the picture.
Naturally, therefore, she wanted to hate the new wife … but she could not.
“In my mind,” she wrote, “you would be a terrible beast and my daughter would not want you to mother her at all, ever!”
“Evil swirled in me,” Curry admitted, “because I never wanted to face the fact that another woman would mother my child in my absence.”
Curry said that she had hoped the new wife wouldn’t fit in and wouldn’t become someone her daughter looked up to. Understandably, Curry wanted to be her daughter’s one and only forever.
Then, she met Ashley—and as she explained, God clearly had other plans.
Curry admitted that she’d been jealous of the other woman when she first saw her, since she looked nothing like the expectation … “you were supposed to be hideous, remember?” Curry quipped.
Once Curry got to know her, though, she realized that there was an incredible gift her daughter now had—not only did she have a mother who loved her, but now she had a stepmother who loved her, as well.
The pair certainly didn’t become best friends instantly, but Curry explained how thankful she was for everything that Ashley did for her daughter. From the unconditional love that she was shown to the way her stepmother stood back and let the father-daughter relationship develop and flourish on its own, Curry couldn’t believe she had once hoped that something would go wrong with the newest addition to their family.
The letter was a rare thing to see, but surprisingly resonant in today’s day and age—where close to half of all marriages (at least in the West) end in divorce and children are brought up in unconventional family situations all the time.
Curry ended her letter with a touching promise to the other parent now in her daughter’s life. She promised not to stand between her daughter and her stepmother, promised not to make Ashley feel like she wasn’t just as much a mom to her as Curry herself is.
“A rare and precious gem” is how Curry described Ashley at the end—but for readers everywhere, Curry is just as rare and precious as the woman the letter was written for.
Photo Credit: Womenwithworth | Candice Curry.